Why do we dumb ourselves to be with a man? Is it because we don’t think we deserve better or can get a nicer guy? Is it because we are afraid of starting all over again?

I’m thinking about when I confronted him about seeing “casual encounters” links and he said it was just to see naked pictures. Now that I think about it, I think to myself, “Are you STUPID? Do you really think that he was just looking for naked pictures??”

I mean, I thought that our sex life was pretty good although we don’t do it as much because we share our bed with our kids.

When I told him I found that link, he said, “You really think I would be so stupid to meet up with someone like that? They do these links just to catch someone because it’s illegal.”

At the time we had that confrontation, I had forgiven him. I just can’t forget, especially because of how insecure it’s made me feel.

I used to feel that his fidelity was the one thing I could always count on. Now, I’m not so sure.

About christyrendon

I'm a 26 year old working mom of two amazing kids, Adan (2 1/2) and Christy (1).. I've been married for 3 years to Edward..

One response to “

  1. Read my comment on the post below about Joe. I could go on and on and give play by play of HOW it got worse if you want the proof, but just know that it gets worse. I have known many others that have caught their men looking at naked pictures/porn. In my eyes, that is cheating just as much as it would be if Edward slept with someone else. He shouldnt WANT to see another girl naked. Joe started deleting his history on his phone… how do I know this? Because he would be on his phone, then go take a shower, and I would look at it. He would have NO history at all…. Now if thats not obvious, then I dont know what is. I finally managed to tell him that I just didnt care anymore… that he could do what he wanted because he had no remorse for it anyways… once I said that, I started seeing it appear on his phone again…. Why? Because I told him I didnt even care enough anymore to look at his phone… so he didnt think I would look…. and it got worse and worse…. It was wearing on me… and that was one of the reasons I left! I couldnt handle it. Why didnt I leave before? Well because of the same things you said in the start of this post. I didnt think I deserved better…. I didnt think I would find something better. And most of all, I didnt want to start over in a new relationship… but enough was enough. As I started asking myself these questions… WHY dont you think you deserve better? WHY dont you think there is someone better out there? WHY do you want to stay in a relationship where you are unhappy? It clicked…. I DID deserve better. I did not want to live the way I was currently living. I had so much to offer someone, and I did not want to offer it to Joe any longer… he did not deserve it. Here is one quote I live by since realizing all of this….. Do NOT make someone a priority when they only make you an option.

    Girl its a vicious cycle. I dont want to push you one way or the other, but you are stuck at the same place I was 2 years ago. It is not fun. I know how you feel!!!

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