Still very hurt.

I’m trying to get back on track and act like everything is okay, but I keep replaying that scene in my head where he totally disrespected me and I just feel so much sadness. I wish I could talk about this with someone, but it’s not that easy. They would tell me to leave him right away, and I can’t. My kids are so sweet and innocent and I can’t be to blame for a broken family. I just can’t.

At the same time, I can’t just go back to holding his hand and kissing him again as if nothing happened. He apologized, but I told him “I’m sorry” just isn’t enough anymore.

I know marriage isn’t supposed to be easy, but nobody ever said it would be this hard either.

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About christyrendon

I'm a 26 year old working mom of two amazing kids, Adan (2 1/2) and Christy (1).. I've been married for 3 years to Edward..

3 responses to “Still very hurt.

  1. I can not say it enough… my brother was in a marriage where he KNEW he no longer loved her, yet he stayed together for their daughter…. he got a lawyer at one point, spent a ton of money to file for divorce, and then it was wasted away when he told the lawyer nevermind. They lasted about 8 months and now are divorced….. the whole process was started over, signed and completed this time. And I tell you what…. I See a HUGE difference, for the better, in my Niece! You can not stay with someone for kids. Its not fair to you nor the kids! They adapt to the new changes… trust me they do.

    • The thing is Heather that I still do love him.. My feelings go back and forth with him ya know? I feel like I need to be completely over my feelings for him to truly feel strong enough to leave him..

      I know if I was reading my blogs, I would say it’s a no brainer.. That I should just leave him. Duh. Right? But when you’re in the actual position, everything is just much more complicated because you’re so invested in the people that you’re talking about.

      • I certainly know it is not an easy decision. Ive been in one myself… not easy at all. I understand! I just hated listening to my brother say “I need to make it work for Ava. I dont want her raised in a broken family.” Just like I told him, a broken family is EXACTLY what she WAS living in before my brother decided enough was enough and his ex wife moved out. NOW she has TWO loving homes that she will create so many memories in. It just takes that step to realize that things wont imporve, and to leave! Its not easy though.

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