I’m really praying that some miracle will happen and I’ll start finding a way to fall in love with my husband again because I can’t stand him right now. I can’t stand his face or his text messages. I’m feeling resentful towards him.
I took care of Christy the whole Saturday night so that he could sleep in.. You would think he would do the same for me the next night right? WRONG. I stayed up with Christy until 1:30AM last night.. I was SO tired and drowsy that when I fell asleep with her in the recliner she actually fell to the floor!! I can’t believe it but nothing happened, thank God. And then around 7am she woke up because she was hungry and I shook my husband to wake up, and he was complaining and complaining the whole time. I literally have to shake him like 4 times just to get him up, and when he does, he says things like, “shit you can’t even let me rest.” and starts sighing like crazy.
To top it off, he never wakes up on time in the morning. Since he’s working only for my mom and she’s not here, he takes advantage and sleeps in until like 8:10am.. I’ve told him plenty of times to get up on time and he says he will but he doesn’t.
I’m so glad I work so I don’t have to see him right now. If I did, I would get in a worse mood.
Today I have made the final decision that I will NOT be having anymore children with him. It’s always the same story with him and that’s not fair to me, or to our kids.
I am going to Planned Parenthood today (I was supposed to go last week but I had to reschedule)..
Before I was with my husband, I was with my ex-boyfriend who treated me SO well. Why did I fuck that up? Why didn’t I appreciate him? We haven’t been together in over 4 and a half years, but I know he still cares for me.
I am going to speak the blunt truth knowing this is MY blog and admit that I never met my husband and stayed with my ex. The only good thing that came from being with my husband is that I’ve become a mother to two kids that I would die for.
What was I thinking??
PLeeeaseee let there be a miracle knowing that we are taking a road trip this week to visit his family in Arlington…..